top of page

Time To Put My Big Girl Pants On

Well, I never thought this day would come! The first day of the rest of my life, the day my last 5 years has been leading up to... today, I woke up and walked into my office with a cup of coffee and I started my new job. Job title: 'Girl With Big Grown-up Pants' Role criteria: Running my whole own business and not freaking out at all! I've been trying to write this blog post for what feels like forever, firstly, writing doesn't come naturally to me (I enjoy it but tend to ramble and actually say very little... you'll see), and secondly, when you put something down in black and white it suddenly becomes real. The real-ness of what I'm doing still hasn't quite hit home and I almost hope it never does, I hope I feel excited and scared and never bored, it'll keep me on my toes. I am so lucky to be here with the opportunity to prove myself, I have the best family support and the most encouraging friends a woman could ask for and whilst everyone says they're proud of me and I've worked so hard, the truth is, the hard work hasn't even begun, but if I can make my loved ones proud then I must be doing something right! I have been dreaming of this moment and what it means for me and my life, I can now live in a more flexible way, I can try and take care of myself more, I can spend more time with my partner and in my lovely home, all the good things I have thought about. But I know there will be bad days, daemons, doubts. I know my motivation will wain when I feel sick or when I get stuck, there will still be days I don't want to get out of bed, or I just want to clean or bake or go out. I will get lonely and I will fall out with the cat. It's not going to fix everything in an instant, which is something I need to keep a handle on. When you've been so excited for something and you see it as the magic potion that you imagine will cure your life, the reality that it might not be can be dangerous. You can very easily blame one thing for all your ills and when that one thing is 'fixed', the reality that it wasn't JUST that thing that was to blame can be really hard to battle. Expectations are high and I need to keep myself in check. I hope by knowing this and trying to manage my own 'expectation vs reality' complex I can make sure I adjust to my new life and new job without feeling instantly like a failure. I know I've got so many amazing business and non business pals who have my back and always give me a nudge, a boot, a hug and a cuppa or just an ear and I know I can do it whilst they're by my side... Thank you to everyone who has made it possible for me to be in this position, I won't let you down and I won't let my self down. Now... where is my trusty (lunatic) office cat and how do I make my printer work...?

139 views0 comments
bottom of page